Lost

I feel lost. I'm dancing around dizzily with confusion. What am I going to do? Who am I going to be? What's the best decision for me? And what's with all these secrets lately? I don't like secrets, I never have. I love him. I know that because I always have, it never changed. I just don't like keeping it a secret.

This year has been rough for friendships. Honestly, only a few have passed the challenges. Now I'm being spied on and its starting an information war. I don't want anything to do with it. It feels like I have to watch my back, more so my mouth. If I say one thing, it could trigger the bomb that starts the big war. I hardly trust anyone and it's exhausting. When am I ever going to feel safe? I don't feel physically safe or emotionally safe. This is preposterous and I want an end to it. Unfortunately, I feel this is hardly close to over. I'm willing to let it all go and move on, but I doubt she is. The immaturity is absurd and I'm not going to play into it.

I've had a bad year, thus I've learned a lot. I'm not willing to jeopardize my mental health for some immature girl. I will not play your game and I will not let you hurt me. This is not fun and you should grow up.