Lies

No matter how large or small a lie always does some kind of damage. Someone is always bound to be hurt by a lie. Now keep in mind, a white lie to save someone's feelings, like saying they don't look bad in their favorite outfit, is excluded. Yes, there are gray areas.
In my opinion, the worst lies are the ones you tell yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, what good is that doing? You won't be able to know others are being honest and how can you be completely honest to others? It just builds up, and when you hit that breaking point its the worst.
Yes, I have lied to myself. Every one lies at some point, but we are only humans. I think it helps me to be open minded about lying, because honestly, I'm writing this to clear my conscience. When I look back I see some of my old lies and I'm ashamed, but now I can learn. My past is a stepping stone for a better future. The older I get the more ridiculous lying is and the less I lie. I've realized it's not going to get me anywhere, so what's the purpose? Just keep an open mind about lying.

Vulnerable

What does it mean to be vulnerable? Does it make you weak? Or stronger? It's like taking down every wall you've ever designed and built to keep people out. It's letting someone see you for all that you are, flaws included. I say you feel weak, but I think it makes you stronger. It takes much more strength to let someone in and expose every flaw.
We can only be as strong as our weakest link and by being vulnerable, we're letting someone see that. We're trusting someone enough to know us without judging. It's a huge step, but when it comes to relationships, it makes things easier. It's a better understanding of who each of us really are. I think that it takes a lot to expose your flaws, but if someone can see them and still accept you, than that's the kind of person I want in my life.

Time to find a balance

School, work, family, friends, how will I ever find a balance? Time management is the key. I always find myself worrying about not having enough time for some important part of my life. Sometimes I have to squeeze in an extra couple minutes for homework or even just to say hey to my friends. Right now is the perfect example, I'm squeezing in a bit of time to write a blog since its something I love to do. I'll admit it is hard, but it is not impossible.
What helps me is that I have a semi-routine. Parts of my daily activities are just routine like getting up and getting ready for school. Then I have days when I work, that adds to my daily routine. It's more like a weekly routine. I can't stand having everything the same all the time, so from time to time I do switch it up a little. It can be as simple as switching which time I eat breakfast. Routines can work if you stick to them.
Stress is a big factor when it comes to routines and time management. How do I find a balance? Do I have enough time for my friends and family? Did I finish my homework? Am I working enough hours? It causes me a bunch of stress. It's not so bad that I can't handle it, but sometimes I do get overwhelmed. It's important to handle only what you can. If you can't handle a job and school, then don't. If you are getting stressed make sure you find time to be with your friends and family. That's the best way to feel better.
We've gotta take it all one day at a time. There is a balance, we just have to find what works for us. What works for me could completely throw someone else off. As long as there's a will, there's a way.

Parents

It's one a.m. and I can't sleep. You know why? It's because I'm too busy thinking about some poor little kid I saw today. So I was at a fair today with some friends and it was all fun, like it should be. But I saw this little boy and he was with a police officer looking for his parents and at first I thought nothing of it, because when I was little I'm sure I got lost a few times and was always reunited with my parents. Then an hour or so later I see the same kid with the police officer still but this time he's in a golf cart and he looks very hopeless. These two images keep running through my head and two words come to mind; disgust and sorrow.
I don't understand how anyone could just abandon their child. It's horrible and it just disgusts me that anyone could be that cruel. Along with the images of that sad little boy, I keep thinking of millions of questions. Will that boy be reunited with his parents? If so, where were they and why did it take so long? How in the world could they leave him? If they didn't want him, why didn't they take him to a safe place like a pediatrician's office and leave him there so he'd be safer? Are his parents actually all right? Are they still alive? Is he going to be put in a foster home? How will this kid cope with it? Was it even on purpose or accidental?
I just don't know any of that. The only thing I can really wrap my mind around is that parents are supposed to be our safety net. No matter what they should make us feel safe and protected. Parents are to look out for their children and love them. But this little boy was alone. Sure he had the police officer to look after him, but its not the same! Parents are loving and caring without a reason, because they just do. I'm not saying the officer didn't care, because he obviously did, but not in the same way a parent should. My last thought on this is that those of us who do have good parents should appreciate them. Even if we are a teenager with raging hormones, we still love our parents and when we want to feel safe we know we can run to them.

The Ugly Truth

So I watched The Ugly Truth today and it sparked something in my mind. The truth sure as hell can be ugly. But why do we have to think of it that way? You know optimism can go a long way. Well its the truth, its ugly, but hey at least I know what's real. Sometimes the truth hurts, but that's the way it is. Take it or leave it.
The ugly truth is love seems like it should be all emotional, but its not. You really have to have two aspects of a relationship. One being emotional, and two is physical. Can you really think of a couple who isn't physical with each other? If you can, are they really happy around each other? By physical I don't mean sex, although eventually that does play a part, but it's as simple as holding hands and hugging.
I don't mean to be blunt, but girls need the physical attention just as much as guys do. Girls really do think about that stuff. Unless they're prude, but then again I bet they still think about it, they may deny it though. And why should they deny it? It's the truth. I think people should be a little more open minded about sex and about sexuality. Because everyone does it at some point and everyone thinks about it. I don't think it should be a topic people are afraid of, it's something to embrace so that teens aren't scared of it and girls aren't scared of it.
So why do we like to deny the truth? Is it we're just scared? Or is it the lack of open mindedness? The truth should be put out there. I do respect that people want to live their lives in denial about certain subjects, but I don't think some should feel they have to. The truth can be ugly, but its out there.

The Popular Finish Last

Popularity. Who the hell cares? So here's the situation; We're in high school and that girl is super popular. Why? Well first of all, she probably kissed ass to get to the top. She might have done some things we shouldn't exactly speak of. And why did she do it? Just to be cool. The best part, its only for the next few years of high school.
Popularity is over-rated. It's stupid. It's annoying. Why is there even a top and bottom for social status? I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't care about being popular. And who cares if a lot of people don't like me? They're not worth my time, if they're not going to get to know and like me for who I am.
And why do girls crave popular guys? That is just plain ridiculous! Especially if you know they won't ever like you. They're not going to spend their time on you if you're not popular like them. So why even waste your time? Most of the time they wouldn't love you for who you are.
For my disclaimer I'll say that not all popular people are ridiculous. Some are nice. But, popularity shouldn't matter. It's a waste of time to become or worry about being popular. Just accept yourself and love the friends you have. They're the ones that would catch your fall anyway.

RIP the King of Pop

I know it is a bit belated, but I'd like to talk about Micheal Jackson. His death was a shock to us all, including the haters. I suppose the haters got what they wanted, and I hope all the nasty jokes will finally go. But still, people keep going on with the stupid jokes. Okay, so he made some mistakes. Who doesn't? He was acquitted of all his charges, so why is it still a big deal?
Micheal Jackson was the KING of Pop music. To the Guiness World Record he was the king of charities. He's listed in the books for Most Charities Supported By A Pop Star. And I'll be damned if that isn't something very special. His music made a HUGE difference in not only pop and other types of music, but also in society. Many singers were influence by him and without Micheal, where would they be? And about society, it's not just the charities. Because of him blacks, whites, asians, hispanics, everyone can get along better. I seriously think that without his influence, Obama might not have become president.
I hope all the haters and hypocrits are done. If your just now trying to come around and say good things because he died, then you're a hypocrite and you're just as bad if not worse than the haters. All I have to say is rest in peace Micheal Jackson. You'll live on through your music.

Crazy, Wild Dreams

There he is, the man of my dreams. He's tall, dark, and handsome and he's calling out to me. I reach for him and the floor begins to give way. I back away until my back is against a wall. The hole in the floor gets bigger, until I have no choice but to hold on for dear life. The edge gets harder to grip, but I don't let go. Do I fall? Do I climb back up somehow to see the man again? I don't know, I've just woken up from another crazy dream.
My dreams have always been weird, at least the ones I remember. Sometimes I dream about my thoughts or events of the day. Sometimes I don't know why I dream what I do. I suppose that some part of me is familiar with the idea.
Besides my crazy dreams, I have a very weird sleep pattern. Sometimes I can get eight hours, sometimes barely twenty minutes of sleep. I notice that depends on whats on my mind. If I have a lot or one thing that's bothering me, I can't sleep. That of course is fairly normal, in my opinion. And if I say something like oh, I bet I'll sleep good tonight or vice versa, I usually do.
Dreams and sleep patterns really rely on thoughts. I'm not saying this goes for everyone, but for me it does. I've always been a thinker, about everything. That goes for the man of/in my dreams.

Do you know just what you can do to a girl's heart?

As young girls we start out dreaming of that prince charming like in all the princess stories like Cinderella and Snow White. We dream of the day we'll fall in love, the day we get married and how beautiful we'll look. We watch and absolutely adore anything with love in it. That goes for books, too. That's just how we are.
Do you know just what you can do to a girl's heart? When we start liking you our hearts flutter. We can't help it. Then when you play with our emotions it crushes us. It's not that hard to do. It's even worse when we really like you and think you like us. But you know what? We'll get to that point, we don't care. Girls can be just as strong. Someday you can watch us walk by without a glance or a tinge of remorse. Why even waste your time? Why waste my time? If you're not into me, don't act like it.
Love is an important thing to girls, so don't ruin it. Because once the damage has been done, it's over.

Blinded by Love

I'm sure everyone's heard that love is blind. I have to agree with that. Everyone has their own preference on what they're attracted to. (I don't know if that makes sense, but we'll go with it.) I will say that I have sat at the mall with some of my girl friends and we'll talk about how hot guys are, but that's not why I date guys. Looks only last so long. When I start liking somebody they better have a damn good personality.
Now I'm not saying I date ugly or hot guys, because in my opinion they may be cute, but to somebody else they're not. I really like a guy when I can relate and when they've got an awesome personality. Their personality is what makes them attractive. So maybe that's part of love being blind. Otherwise all of the shallow people, who are only in it for looks, would all be in love. And I have to say not all good looking people are shallow. You could always have the best of both worlds.